{"id":3194,"date":"2023-04-23T03:00:59","date_gmt":"2023-04-23T09:00:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/?p=3194"},"modified":"2023-04-23T21:32:57","modified_gmt":"2023-04-24T03:32:57","slug":"in-the-morning-everythings-clearer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/?p=3194","title":{"rendered":"In the morning everything&#8217;s clearer"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>It snowed today. It made me very annoyed. To feel better about it, when I went to the gym, I did the IR sauna, the steam room AND the jacuzzi. So much sweaty warmth. It felt great. Then I came home and put on hockey and promptly fell asleep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sooooo. I think I am getting the brush off. Ugh. Even though he finally messaged and said he&#8217;d like to &#8220;plan a dinner.&#8221; I don&#8217;t think he means it. He just doesn&#8217;t want to say he&#8217;s not interested. Which is a bummer. I liked him. I didn&#8217;t think I would meet anyone I actually liked and then I did and he doesn&#8217;t like me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>what can you do. Such is life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>what if I never find anyone to like me ever again? Cause I gotta tell you, it&#8217;s beginning to feel like a very real possibility. I make jokes all the time about being alone forever, never having sex again. I didn&#8217;t actually <em>believe<\/em> it. Only now&#8230;well, I just don&#8217;t know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Could it really just be my looks? God that is depressing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It&#8217;s my mouth area. The pandemic mask-wearing helped, cause it covered the whole lower half. The part of my face that looks the oldest. See?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"927\" height=\"1200\" src=\"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/img_2780-927x1200.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3196\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/img_2780-927x1200.jpg 927w, https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/img_2780-116x150.jpg 116w, https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/img_2780-768x995.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/img_2780.jpg 1125w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 927px) 100vw, 927px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;m pursing my lips here, but still. I didn&#8217;t used to look like this. And look at my neck! Everything used to be smooth. Now it&#8217;s all lumpy and saggy and squishy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sigh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I need some heavy therapy. How do I learn to deal with getting (and looking) old? And finding self worth outside the attention of men? And believe that I deserve good things? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Or maybe it&#8217;s not my looks! maybe it&#8217;s my personality, and it&#8217;s just easier to blame my appearance. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I haven&#8217;t been to therapy in a long time and it worked before. It could work again. It would be nice not to feel so bad about myself all the time. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It snowed today. It made me very annoyed. To feel better about it, when I went to the gym, I did the IR sauna, the steam room AND the jacuzzi.&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3194","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3194","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3194"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3194\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3199,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3194\/revisions\/3199"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3194"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3194"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3194"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}