{"id":3084,"date":"2023-01-23T02:38:25","date_gmt":"2023-01-23T09:38:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/?p=3084"},"modified":"2023-01-23T03:21:07","modified_gmt":"2023-01-23T10:21:07","slug":"youre-fog-and-ash-and-an-empty-jar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/?p=3084","title":{"rendered":"You&#8217;re fog and ash and an empty jar"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>I&#8217;m really struggling with these lousy dating apps and I think I&#8217;ve finally figured out why. because on some level, I&#8217;m looking for him. or a version of him at least. I will never find it. I know this. None of these men are Simon. But like, it&#8217;s not even close. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And holy shit are they boring. So mind numbingly boring. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Look I know I&#8217;m being ridiculous. And I understand I UNDERSTAND that it took years to develop our connection. but even at the beginning, at the very very beginning, he had something these idiots just don&#8217;t have. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I don&#8217;t know what it is exactly, he was one of a kind, but you&#8217;d think I could find someone a <em>little<\/em> funny? A <em>tiny<\/em> bit smart? One guy with <em>half<\/em> his cleverness. He surely must exist. Somewhere? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Hmm. Maybe the problem is that I&#8217;m the boring one. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nah. just silly. I am nothing but flaws but one thing I know I am not is boring. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So maybe if I could define it, I could find it. How do I define it. List off his qualities that I enjoyed? F\u00fcck that this isn&#8217;t a Simon fan club. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And besides, that won&#8217;t accomplish anything. He was more than just a list. I could write down every last thing I loved about him and I still wouldn&#8217;t have an answer. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So I need to lower my expectations\/standards then. Right? But why should I have to settle? Don&#8217;t I deserve someone like that? (Fuck off yes I do.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But if I don&#8217;t settle, then I&#8217;ll never again taste the warmth of salty skin, or feel the tips of someone else&#8217;s fingers dipping into wetness, or get lost in the deafening pleasure. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Settle or wither. Settle or wither. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;ll listen to you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><form\n\t\t\t\tid=\"forminator-module-3088\"\n\t\t\t\tclass=\"forminator-ui forminator-poll forminator-poll-3088 forminator-design--flat  \"\n\t\t\t\tmethod=\"post\"\n\t\t\t\tdata-forminator-render=\"0\"\n\t\t\t\tdata-form-id=\"3088\"\n\t\t\t\t data-color-option=\"default\" data-design=\"flat\" style=\"display: none;\"\n\t\t\t\tdata-uid=\"6aee7e26dc449\"\n\t\t\t><div role=\"alert\" aria-live=\"polite\" class=\"forminator-response-message\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/div><div class=\"forminator-poll-header\"><span id=\"forminator-poll-3088--title\" class=\"forminator-question forminator-poll--question\">What should I do?<\/span><\/div><div class=\"forminator-poll-body\"><div role=\"radiogroup\" class=\"forminator-field\" aria-labelledby=\"forminator-poll-3088--title\"><label for=\"3088-0-answer-1\" class=\"forminator-radio\"><input id=\"3088-0-answer-1\" type=\"radio\" data-required=\"\" name=\"3088\" value=\"answer-1\"  \/><span class=\"forminator-radio-bullet\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/span><span class=\"forminator-radio-label\">Settle<\/span><\/label><label for=\"3088-0-answer-2\" class=\"forminator-radio\"><input id=\"3088-0-answer-2\" type=\"radio\" data-required=\"\" name=\"3088\" value=\"answer-2\"  \/><span class=\"forminator-radio-bullet\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/span><span class=\"forminator-radio-label\">Wither<\/span><\/label><\/div><\/div><input type=\"hidden\" name=\"referer_url\" value=\"\" \/><div class=\"forminator-poll-footer forminator-poll--actions\"><button class=\"forminator-button forminator-button-submit\" ><span>Submit<\/span><i class=\"forminator-icon-loader forminator-loading\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/i><\/button><\/div><input type=\"hidden\" id=\"forminator_nonce\" name=\"forminator_nonce\" value=\"57a09d185b\" \/><input type=\"hidden\" name=\"_wp_http_referer\" value=\"\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fposts%2F3084\" \/><input type=\"hidden\" name=\"form_id\" value=\"3088\"><input type=\"hidden\" name=\"page_id\" value=\"3084\"><input type=\"hidden\" name=\"render_id\" value=\"0\"><input type=\"hidden\" name=\"action\" value=\"forminator_submit_form_poll\"><\/form>?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m really struggling with these lousy dating apps and I think I&#8217;ve finally figured out why. because on some level, I&#8217;m looking for him. or a version of him at&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3084","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3084","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3084"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3084\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3094,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3084\/revisions\/3094"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3084"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3084"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3084"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}