I started a new book the other day. Is it possible that I took ambien one night and wrote it and shopped it around and found a publisher and they published it and then I went to bed and woke up and forgot about it entirely and now I’m reading it and it’s my book? I feel like this is exactly what has happened. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
For example. Here are the last two lines I just read:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“When men stop wanting to fuck you: poof! You disappear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I took three Xanaxes and watched bob’s burgers on my laptop till I passed out on the couch.” <\/p>\n\n\n\n
See what I mean? those are quotes from the book, not from loafe. I swear! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But, alas, the book is not mine. Because I would not have pluralized Xanax. it sounds weird with an es. It’s just Xanax, no matter how many you take. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I feel a little inspired though, knowing that perhaps one day I too can publish my shitty self-involved writing in book form. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But first, another episode of bob’s burgers. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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