{"id":273,"date":"2005-12-30T09:15:42","date_gmt":"2005-12-30T17:15:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.loafe.com\/?p=273"},"modified":"2005-12-30T09:16:17","modified_gmt":"2005-12-30T17:16:17","slug":"my-fixed-ipod-my-broken-dream","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/?p=273","title":{"rendered":"my fixed ipod, my broken dream."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I got an ipod a little over 2 years ago, back in December of 2003. I was very happy with it and there&#8217;s been much love between us since then. I also bought the apple warranty extension plan as well, giving me two extra years for support. For the past 8 or so months, the battery life of my ipod was greatly diminished, but I just dealt with it, meaning to send it in for repair sooner or later. But you know me, so of course I was sending it in on the absolute very last day of my coverage.<\/p>\n<p>I just got it back yesterday. Well, a replacement ipod anyway. It&#8217;s new and shiny and very pretty and I am glad to have it back. I was having grand fantasies of them sending me a brand new exciting video ipod as a replacement, but of course I got the same model as what I sent in. I don&#8217;t know what kind of lousy program they&#8217;re running over there at Apple, where you send in your 2-year old ipod for repair and they can&#8217;t even bother to send you back a new video ipod as a replacement. Sheesh.<\/p>\n<p>If we don&#8217;t get our own place very soon, I might have to start a nasty pill-popping drug habit.<\/p>\n<p>I used to really love Boston, I thought it was the greatest city in all the world, but now I mostly just hate it. And I&#8217;m so mad that I hate it. I didn&#8217;t want it to come to this. I wanted to keep that love alive, have it burning inside me forever. But I suppose we knew it couldn&#8217;t last. Sooner or later, as happens with all the great loves, it had to end. Now I just feel resentment and bitterness. I have so many memories in this town, both good and bad, all of them following me around and reminding me of my old life. And it isn&#8217;t like my &#8220;new life&#8221; here has started off with a bang (my new life being with the baby).<\/p>\n<p>And to top it all off, I found out that I&#8217;ve hit my limit with financial aid at Emerson, which I didn&#8217;t know was possible and which would have been nice to know ohh, six months ago. But there you have it. So with two frigging semesters left to go, I&#8217;ve got no financial aid and no money of my own, just a huge massive debt and no degree to show for it. Just as we were settling into some semblance of normalcy in Tucson, with friends and jobs and baby playdates, I uprooted us all to come back to Boston, only to find out now it was pointless. Someone could have told me this a few months ago, when I was inquiring into my return to Emerson, but apparently the person I talked to was a complete moron.<\/p>\n<p>BUT! I am trying to remain positive and keep my head up, per my new approach to life. It is very difficult and I want to scream until my head explodes, but if I let all this get me down now, then what am I showing to my son? That it&#8217;s okay to crumble and fall when a few obstacles are thrown in your way? That everything in life should come easy and simple? That it&#8217;s okay to give up when things get hard? So I just have to accept the reality, deal with it and move on. Figure out a way around the mess.<\/p>\n<p>It will work out, maybe not today or tomorrow but I will get that degree. I am not going to have everything I went through and all the crap I&#8217;ve dealt with since I moved to Boston be for nothing. I don&#8217;t care how foolish it now seems and how tunnel-visioned I&#8217;ve become. I have to graduate from Emerson. Don&#8217;t you see? I have to make all that mean something, I have to make it worth it. I just can&#8217;t have it be for nothing. I&#8217;ve sacrificed so much and I&#8217;ve lost so much in these past 6 years, to cut my losses and walk away now would destroy me. I might still be alive, but I&#8217;d be just a shell, someone going through the motions. We all deserve better, especially my little guy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I got an ipod a little over 2 years ago, back in December of 2003. I was very happy with it and there&#8217;s been much love between us since then.&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-273","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/273","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=273"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/273\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=273"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=273"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=273"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}