I took a sleeping pill like 3 hours ago and instead of making me sleep it just made me feel like I’m in a stop motion video. Everything is all choppy and disjointed but in a continuous way. Also, gray. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
now it’s like almost morning or something and I AM STILL AWAKE and somehow I ended up subscribing to the NYT how am I going to undo that, stupid nyt no one’s impressed with you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’ve decided my new yarn project is going to be a bag of dicks. Let me explain. First I’m gonna crochet a bag. Then I’m gonna crochet a bunch of dicks. And finally, I’m gonna put all those crochet dicks in the crochet bag. Tada. Bag of dicks. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What then? Well then I’m gonna give that bag of dicks to someone who is a bag of dicks, or needs to eat a bag of dicks, or suck a bag of dicks? I’m not sure, it is unclear to me at this moment what insult I’m going to use it for, but it is definitely an insult. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Cause usually I say “oh that guy is a jerk! Go eat a bag of dicks!” but also sometimes I say “what a bag of dicks you are.” Or like maybe “tuukka can suukka bag of dicks.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But hmm maybe I should not give a lovingly crafted beautiful yarn project to someone who is (or eats or sucks) a bag of dicks? Not much of an insult. “Here, person I do not like, take this lovely yarn bag filled with lovely yarn dicks, that I spent hours and hours making with my own hands, touching and stroking and crocheting.” Would you feel insulted? No you’d feel pretty special. Pretty rewarded. That’s the opposite! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
How about this instead: you, my friend, can fuck right off with a big old bag of dirty dicks. and I’m not gonna give you those dicks I made. No! Go find your own! Asshole! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I do still want to make a bag of dicks tho. My auto correct keeps trying to get me to say bag of socks. Fuck off! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’m going to bed now, stop motion bed, good night and quit being a bag of dicks. Just stop. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I took a sleeping pill like 3 hours ago and instead of making me sleep it just made me feel like I’m in a stop motion video. Everything is all… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2687","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2687","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2687"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2687\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2688,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2687\/revisions\/2688"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2687"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2687"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2687"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}