When I think about becoming a lesbian, I like the idea. It seems fun and crazy and easy. I’d want to be with a sporty, kinda butchy type. not the ones who are real pretty with their hair and makeup and dresses. The ones who look a little like men. And if they had penises, even better!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’m kidding. I understand the whole point of being a lesbian is to be with someone who doesn’t have a penis. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes I think maybe I’m a secret lesbian. It makes sense, right? A lesbian who doesn’t KNOW she’s a lesbian (but everyone else in her life knows… or at least suspects). And that’s why I suck at relationships, why they fail, why I fail. And why if I watch porn, I prefer it with women (but I do love me some gay men porn, with their pretty skin, those fit smooth bodies, their hips, the aggressiveness, those hips again).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I’m not very “girly” never have been, at least in the typical sense of the word, always been kind of a tomboy (although I hate that word\/description\/label), <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh and also I had a time in my life where I did the whole “experimenting” thing and it was great. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So maybe I’m a lesbian? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But then I keep coming back to that penis, that stupid gross fucking penis. It’s so icky. And I love it so much. I don’t love LOOKING at it, it’s not like I sit around staring at pictures of penises all day and night, they’re weird and gross looking, and when they’re all tiny and flaccid, just flopping around down there… I mean honestly how do you do it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I like the penis. What can I say? I just enjoy the heck out of it. I like what it does, I like how it feels, I like how it tastes, I don’t want to HAVE a penis, I just want to play with one. The balls I can take or leave (leave). <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe I’m a lesbian who likes dildos and strap-ons then? Except for I don’t think I am into dildos or strap-ons. I am not anti-dildos\/fake penises. They just don’t appeal to me like a living breathing throbbing cock does. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
are there lesbians who like penises? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Also, while I like things being done to\/with\/for my vagina and boobs, I don’t get as excited doing those things to\/with\/for OTHER vaginas and boobs. I mean it can be fun, sure, I’m game. but overall for the most part, I like MY parts being fiddled with. Now, the person doing the fiddling, well I am flexible there, in my experience girls are way better at a lot of the sex stuff. But when it comes to the old in-and-out… well I like it. I like the in and out, it’s one of my favorite parts of the whole deal, having a nice thick dick inside me, and nothing compares. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So I don’t know if I’m lesbian. I want to be! But I don’t think wanting to be is good enough. I think you have to actually be. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But if I were, I would pick someone like Abby wambach, or Rachel maddow, or tig notaro, or the girl who played fran’s girlfriend in last series of shrill, Em, I don’t know her real name, plus more than I can’t remember. Women I for sure would not want to be lesbians with: Ellen, Fran (from shrill), that girl bodyguard from John wick 2, the old grandma ladies who ride bikes and leather chaps, others I can’t think of. I could be friends with these people but they are not my type. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is what I think about when I can’t sleep at night and took an ambien. Grind my teeth and wonder if I should be a lesbian already. It’s time maybe? Men are the worst. You’re all the worst. You’ve turned me into a monster. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
but I will miss penises a lot. So much! To all the penises I’ve loved before, who traveled in and out my door. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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