Alright, so I feel a little bad. After all the congratulations and happy wishes, I have something to confess. It is neither my birthday NOR did I get married.<\/p>\n
Okay, okay, I lied again. It’s a sickness. It WAS my birthday yesterday. Yes, it was, that much is true, and I had a very lovely day.<\/p>\n
But Gordon and I didn’t get married. I was being funny and stupid when I wrote that entry and I didn’t think anyone would take it seriously! Anyone who knows me anyway. Getting hitched, and in that manner, certainly isn’t very christalicious. And Gordon pretty much has to overhaul his entire life and personality in order to get me to marry him. I titled the entry “my new commitment” and what I was referring to was my decision to keep as expressionless as possible. You know, to avoid wrinkles and stuff. Cause I’m all age-obsessed. You know. COME ON! You all know this!<\/p>\n
My stupid fake wedding totally stole all my birthday thunder. That sucks. I’m such a chump.<\/p>\n
Don’t worry, loafies…if I ever get married, I’m inviting the whole damn internet, including you. I don’t know about you over there though. You’re a nutjob.<\/p>\n
Anyway, I am glad everyone was so excited for me. Thanks! I’m still a dishonest woman with a bastard child. Fear not.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Alright, so I feel a little bad. After all the congratulations and happy wishes, I have something to confess. It is neither my birthday NOR did I get married. Okay,… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-241","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/241","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=241"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/241\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=241"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=241"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=241"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}