{"id":2021,"date":"2020-06-28T02:05:59","date_gmt":"2020-06-28T09:05:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.loafe.com\/?p=2021"},"modified":"2020-06-28T02:05:59","modified_gmt":"2020-06-28T09:05:59","slug":"when-not-even-a-ghost-will-impregnate-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/?p=2021","title":{"rendered":"When not even a ghost will impregnate you"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>I am sorry to report that I am not in fact pregnant with a ghost baby. There were rumors. Suspicions. Raised eyebrows. But alas, my uterine lining has begun to shed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So I guess my friends were right after all, that a ghost did not have relations with me while I was sleeping one night. I think that one day I will be glad I don\u2019t have to raise a ghost. but today&#8230; well today I\u2019m just disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I still have my baby birds though. Four of them! four tiny lovely little baby birds. They are getting so big! they\u2019ll be leaving the nest soon, I imagine. I don\u2019t know what I\u2019ll do with myself once they\u2019re gone. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Then I\u2019ll have no ghost babies. No bird babies. nothing. Nothing but my stupid face. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I am sorry to report that I am not in fact pregnant with a ghost baby. There were rumors. Suspicions. Raised eyebrows. But alas, my uterine lining has begun to&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2021","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2021","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2021"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2021\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2021"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2021"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2021"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}