{"id":1914,"date":"2020-03-19T03:16:46","date_gmt":"2020-03-19T10:16:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.loafe.com\/?p=1914"},"modified":"2020-03-19T21:28:39","modified_gmt":"2020-03-20T04:28:39","slug":"baby-wait-a-lifetime","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/?p=1914","title":{"rendered":"I have enough toilet paper (I think)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I sure did pick the wrong year to try and bring some spirituality into my life didn\u2019t I? 2020 is a real shitshow so far.<\/p>\n<p>But perhaps a state-mandated period of social isolation is just the ticket. The one to take me to the promised land, where golden afternoons slip into violet evenings and grace is all around me.<\/p>\n<p>This is different than the social isolation that I normally practice. This one is official! It\u2019s for the common good. It\u2019s the healthy choice. It\u2019s not weird or sad. It\u2019s my duty as a citizen!<\/p>\n<p>My romantic life. I was asked about my romantic life recently. I didn\u2019t have a good answer. Except for no. No sex. No romance. No men. No life.<\/p>\n<p>It did get me thinking though. When was the last time I felt anything about anyone? Not a sexual desire. Eh. Sex is easy. The body wants what it wants. But beyond that, I haven\u2019t been interested in anyone in a very long time. Everyone I know or meet, they&#8217;re all just so dull. My trusty reliable old boredom can&#8217;t even find the energy to be bored by them. What is below boredom?<\/p>\n<p>And besides, no one is interested in a stress pooper. But in my defense, I am not alone. LOOK:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.9news.com\/article\/news\/health\/coronavirus\/covid-19-humorous-tips\/73-c0f7763f-8063-472b-a1bc-4d165599259f\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">STRESS POOPING IS A REAL THING. <\/a><\/p>\n<p>(Also, I might be in love with Dr Max.)<\/p>\n<p>So if I am doing my math correctly, and I do believe I am, what we have here is:<br \/>\nglobal crisis plus social isolation divided by stress pooping = my spiritual awakening and massive emotional growth.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I sure did pick the wrong year to try and bring some spirituality into my life didn\u2019t I? 2020 is a real shitshow so far. But perhaps a state-mandated period&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1914","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1914","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1914"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1914\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1917,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1914\/revisions\/1917"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1914"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1914"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1914"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}