{"id":1822,"date":"2020-01-04T05:51:32","date_gmt":"2020-01-04T10:51:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.loafe.com\/?p=1822"},"modified":"2020-01-04T12:25:56","modified_gmt":"2020-01-04T17:25:56","slug":"why-twitter-sucks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/?p=1822","title":{"rendered":"Why Twitter sucks"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>There are loads of reasons but the biggest one right now is that I just visited twitter for five lousy enraging minutes and discovered that there exists a stage production of the ocean at the end of the lane, in London, and I will never ever get to see it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This news adds yet another layer of crap to my rapidly expanding crap sandwich of 2020. And It\u2019s only the third! What the heck.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>THIS WAS SUPPOSE TO BE MY YEAR OF REDEMPTION AND RELEASE AND RENEWAL AND REJUVENATION. All the Rs<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Alright. Alright. Let\u2019s just calm down everyone. Hopefully we will all be dead soon. But in the meantime, I think the universe is testing my resolve. The path is difficult because if it was easy I\u2019d already be there. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Right? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Right. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And at least we still have furious masturbating. I won\u2019t let them take that away from me! Also they cannot have: my sad masturbating, my I\u2019m hungry but don\u2019t feel like cooking masturbating, my I\u2019m incapable of feeling genuine love for anyone masturbating. Those are mine. Maybe they can take my I\u2019m too old for this shit masturbating. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here is one thing I will be happy about before I try to sleep tonight: I am going to have some bloody Marys on Sunday. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"320\" height=\"275\" src=\"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/img_1120.gif\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1821\"\/><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There are loads of reasons but the biggest one right now is that I just visited twitter for five lousy enraging minutes and discovered that there exists a stage production&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1822","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1822","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1822"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1822\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1824,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1822\/revisions\/1824"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1822"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1822"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1822"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}