here<\/a>. The password for access is —. [dead link]<\/p>\nAlthough he came two weeks before my due date, he is a full-term baby, albeit a small one. I guess he was ready to see me before I was ready! I was in the early stages of labor all day and night on Wednesday, but I just couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t believe it; I thought I just had really bad constipation! What a dork I am.<\/p>\n
I won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t go into any great detail about the labor right now, because I am tired and Ryland is starting to stir, but I will say this much: it was hard and it hurt and it took a lot out of me, even with the epidural. But it was the single most rewarding, fulfilling and beautiful experience of my life and I wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t trade it for anything. Giving birth is just so unbelievable, so overwhelming, so empowering that I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t think I could ever describe it in the right words. I feel so different now, completely disconnected from the person I was before. I feel proud and elated and happy. <\/p>\n
It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s funny, because I believe now that everything that has occurred in my life, every good thing, every bad thing, every seemingly inconsequential thing, were all leading me to this very moment, where I have Ryland. He is the sweetest most perfect thing I can imagine and I wonder what I did to deserve him. <\/p>\n
I look at him and there is so much love in me, it hurts. It hurts me, I love him so much. I am terrified because now he isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t safe inside me, he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s out in the world and we all know how cruel this place can be, and I can only do so much to protect him. <\/p>\n
I wish I could relive the pregnancy and the labor and birth over and over again.<\/p>\n
There is so much more I need to say about this, but the little one is ready for some grub. <\/p>\n
By the way, each one of my breasts weighs more than he does.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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