{"id":866,"date":"2008-07-25T15:09:49","date_gmt":"2008-07-25T20:09:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.loafe.com\/?page_id=866"},"modified":"2022-04-12T02:31:27","modified_gmt":"2022-04-12T08:31:27","slug":"haikus","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/?page_id=866","title":{"rendered":"Haikus"},"content":{"rendered":"

who doesn’t love a good haiku? <\/p>\n

Reader submissions accepted! email me<\/a> your haikus and I’ll post them. unless they are dumb or I don’t like them. but I might post them to make fun of them. so go ahead and send me what you got and let’s just see what happens.<\/p>\n

The rules of haiku can get kind of complicated, see for yourself<\/a>, but let’s just stick with the basics. I’ll accept haiku that follow the 5-7-5 structure we are all familiar with, but if you wanna go out on a limb, give me the english form of 11 syllables, 3-5-3. also i guess you aren’t supposed to use the word “haikus” but whatever.<\/p>\n

let the haikuing begin…<\/p>\n

soda tastes so good
\nif the stupid cafe stays
\nopen long enough<\/strong>
\nby cjm<\/p>\n

poems with dumb rules
\nare better than anything
\nI just took a crap<\/strong>
\nby morgan<\/p>\n

here we are again
\nvoting for a new leader
\nfor the next four years<\/strong>
\nby brasten<\/p>\n

more peeps need to write
\nsome freaking haikus for loafe
\nso I feel better<\/strong>
\nby loafe<\/p>\n

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
\nshit shit shit shit fuck fuck fuck
\nfuck fuck fuck shit fuck<\/strong>
\ntranslation:<\/em>
\n(today is a shit-
\nty day for me and my dumb-
\nass poetry, dood)<\/strong>
\nby becca, whose subject line was de-lite-full: “haikuzen (excuse me!)”<\/p>\n

Live Love Loafe is Grand
\nChrista, Morgan and the rest
\nWritings in the Sand <\/strong>
\nby DG<\/p>\n

Monkey with a tie
\nKong, bane of my existence
\nAnother barrel!<\/strong>
\nby fineous j. humpington<\/p>\n

toddlers everywhere
\ninto every bloody thing
\nis it naptime yet?<\/strong>
\nby michelle (from PA)<\/p>\n

this haiku is just
\na sentence that rambles on
\nwith no real point<\/strong>
\nby morgan<\/p>\n

don’t look in mirrors
\nthe reflection back – unkind.
\npretend i don’t care.<\/strong>
\nby Fi<\/p>\n

need, crave, yearning for
\nwarm tingles, orgasmic bliss
\nmake me come alive.<\/strong>
\nby Fi<\/p>\n

My sexy bootie
\nWill sex you up all night long
\nAnd into the morn<\/strong>
\nby christian<\/p>\n

the pain of defeat
\na life spent mostly training
\nI end up with zilch<\/strong>
\nby brasten<\/p>\n

on big brother contestant circa 2000<\/em>
\nBrittany, hair so pink
\nA nose ring and pretty feet
\nFrom Minnesota<\/strong>
\nby christian<\/p>\n

Yummy meat from pig
\nFills my senses, sex no match
\nBacon, I am yours<\/strong>
\nby christian<\/p>\n

Bah, girl annoys
\nIgnored me, didn’t tell me
\nDated an ass clown<\/strong>
\nby christian<\/p>\n

Yummy white center
\nTwist and lick, Oreo, yum
\nTurns my poopoo black<\/strong>
\nby christian<\/p>\n

Behind, hands on hips
\nLips kissing behind the ear
\nSoft sighs leave her lips<\/strong>
\nby christian<\/p>\n

Found in the mix of christian’s haikus from above was a dirty haiku that I wrote, from 2002. oh, the lovely days before the baby…<\/em>
\nyes it is so true
\nmy aching tongue desires
\nto delight the clit<\/strong>
\nby christa<\/p>\n

this summer so sweet
\nchildren laughing at the beach
\nwhen, why must it end<\/strong>
\nby DG<\/p>\n

China Buffet Shrimp
\nfeeds me like a great big pimp
\nmust work out today<\/strong>
\nby DG<\/p>\n

haiku written immediately after sleeping with my husband<\/em>
\nthe best orgasms
\nare the ones that make the balls
\nof your feet flutter<\/strong>
\nby becca<\/p>\n

YAY OLYPMIC HAIKU!<\/em>
\nmichael phelps won gold
\nwill he win another medal?
\ntune in tomorrow<\/strong>
\nby michelle from PA <\/p>\n

no more drinks for me
\nfor six years no barracho
\nsobriety rocks on
\n<\/strong>by DG<\/p>\n

goin’ for the gold
\nyour favorite athlete
\nis someone I do not know
\nand\/or care about<\/strong>
\nby morgan<\/p>\n

let’s all cheer for them
\nthey’re the very best athletes
\nno one knows their names<\/strong>
\nby morgan<\/p>\n

I love commercials
\nso I watch the Olympics
\nThank you NBC!<\/strong>
\nby morgan<\/p>\n

My life long dream is
\nfor Olympic athletes to
\nslap me on the ass<\/strong>
\nby morgan<\/p>\n

loafe worship
\nChrista is Goddess
\nwe bow low at her altar
\nLOAFE is forever<\/strong>
\nby DG<\/p>\n

Short attention span theatre
\nWatch the olympics
\nSee the pretty athletes go
\nThen change the channel
\n<\/strong>by DG<\/p>\n

I hate Nancy Next Door
\nneighbor Nancy sucks
\ncalled the police on me
\nthink she poisons cats <\/strong>
\nby DG<\/p>\n

expressing oneself
\nin seventeen syllables
\nis very diffic<\/strong>
\nfrom tonya who heard it on howard stern<\/p>\n

your cock is like some
\nnew candy i never had
\nbefore. i like it.<\/strong>
\nby becca<\/p>\n

A good haiku is
\nA tiny fiber pellet
\ncleansing the clogged mind<\/strong>
\nby John<\/p>\n

Foreign policy
\nShooting wolves from an airplane
\nPalin is the suck<\/strong>
\nby tiffany<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

who doesn’t love a good haiku? Reader submissions accepted! email me your haikus and I’ll post them. unless they are dumb or I don’t like them. but I might post… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-866","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/866","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=866"}],"version-history":[{"count":27,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/866\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1670,"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/866\/revisions\/1670"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.loafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=866"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}