it’s my thrill it’s my wonder it’s my will it’s my way home

I have achieved a state of bliss.

pure unadulterated perfect bliss.

I’ve died a hundred times.

Seriously, though, when I first put them on and queued up passing by… I cried. real tears, big drops of salty joy drowning the world. tears for the clarity. the crispness. the gorgeous resonance. I can’t even form words with my mouth anymore. the only thing that’s better than getting what you want is getting what you want and not be bitterly, typically disappointed but instead surprised, delighted, tickled pink, uplifted, relieved, rewarded, comforted, inspired.

sure, I didn’t need them, I didn’t need them, I know this, but I wanted them, friends. I wanted them with a fierce and overwhelming intensity. it was sick, really, how bad I had it, how I thought about them at night, in bed, craving and aching and pining. I would be embarrassed about it, if I wasn’t so goddamned obsessed.

now I have them, right here in my hands, in my ears. cjm owns the greatest pair of headphones to ever exist. I’ve always wished I could have tiny speakers in my head, pumping my whole body full of music, turning each one of my blood cells into little dancing ecstasy-soaked ravers.

G bought them for me. for my birthday. he listened to me. and he took his first paycheck and bought them for me, surprised me with it. he never buys me anything, and he certainly never buys me anything that uses up so many dollars. he took his very own money and bought me my precious. See, all it takes to make me love you is expensive gifts. who knew?!

ulrich schnauss, you have never sounded better. these headphones were made for you. and you, fight club soundtrack. and you neko case. and you amy winehouse. and you nick warren. and you sasha. and you wilco and radiohead and jeff buckley and beethoven and every single song.

all of my love, all of my love, to you, shure se530s. all of my love.

18 thoughts on “it’s my thrill it’s my wonder it’s my will it’s my way home

  1. gina

    wow! that’s a big gift. You deserve it. I need to hear what $500+ dollar headphones sound like.

  2. Jonathan

    Wow… he spent much of a month’s rent at some apartment that wasn’t his mother’s house on a pair of headphones for you?

    All my life, Republicans have told me that some people just want to be poor, and I never believed it. Brasten, you were right.

  3. christa Post author

    well, I wouldn’t say “much” of a month’s rent, I would say more like 1/8 to 1/4 of a month’s rent, if you’re lucky. but your point is taken.

    Seriously though, you never believed that some people want to be poor? really? or did you just say that to make your point?

    also: if you’re trying to get me to feel bad or ashamed, nice try, but you’ll have to take another approach. I’m sensitive to comments about my looks and height and offspring…

    fire away!

  4. Jonathan

    Honestly, I never did believe that some people want to be poor. I know some that want to be drunks, and some that only wanted to get high, but to choose having your girlfriend & daughter live with you in your mom’s house while you’re buying $500 headphones is the stupidest thing I’ve heard in months. Second stupidest, in case you’re wondering, might be accepting a $500 gift from a dude who has you living in his mom’s house with him.

    If you really want me to rope your offspring into it, that $500 would make a pretty substantial high school graduation gift with damn near zero effort on your part. But I’m sure it’s just as important that your compressed mp3’s sound marginally better for the next few years until your headphones wear out.

    If we’re being honest, I’d rather you not feel bad nor ashamed, but merely astonished. I wish you could feel as astonished as I felt reading that your desperately broke baby daddy blew his first paycheck on the necessity of headphones for you and that you accepted them rather than use the money to try & make a better life for you & your son.

  5. christa Post author

    the marginally better sound of these headphones is totally worth my son’s future and any notion of a better life for any of us.

    so. totally. worth. it.

  6. Fineous J. Humpington III

    So, in translation, you’re having multi-orgasmic ear sex on a regular basis?

  7. DG

    rent is 2 to 4 thousand dollars? er um thats like 2 to 5 mortgage payments………..

    Well anyway HB CJM

  8. DG

    Well 500.00 for headphones is still better than coming out of a blackout in a gerbil cage 500.00 lighter………..

  9. christa Post author

    thanks T! I miss ya! being 30 is so boring without you around.

    and yes I am having multi-orgasmic ear sex on a regular basis now. woo! my ears never had it so good.

    and for the record, we didn’t actually pay $500. we paid $300.

  10. morgan

    We all want different things. Expensive headphones may seem frivolous to some, but if it makes you happy then I support it. Some people want the fancy expensive car, or an awesome iPhone, or a remote controlled toilet. Some folks just want money so they can turn it into more money (that they won’t buy anything with). It doesn’t really matter what we want, as long as we’re happy in the end.

    I’m very happy that you got something that makes you very happy. I bet they sound fantastic.

  11. christa Post author

    thanks morgan. you’re a good friend.

    they really do sound fantastic. even regular old mp3s sound better, but when you use the lossless versions, the sound is amazing.

    I can’t wait for you to hear!

    I’m a superhearer.

  12. celly belly

    $500 headphones? mama mia! those must kick some serious ass! and you dont even own any Duffy to play on them? you should get really stoned and plug, Pink Floyd’s ‘Dark Side of the Moon’ in and listen to it on those suckers. Trippy… my headphones, sadly enough, are currently being held together with duct tape. I would love a Nintendo Wii for my b-day, but it aint gonna happen, unless you, my dear Christa, should feel the burning, overwhelming desire to buy me one. Seriousely though, get the ‘Once’ soundtrack, KICK ASS! and some friggin ‘Duffy’ fo shizzle! my boyfriend bought me $100.00 theatre tickets for my upcoming b-day and I felt guilty enough about that. But than, i’m Catholic and we do guilt really well. It will be SO worth it though and thats $50.00 a pop, I should add. We are going to see ‘A Streetcar Named Desire’ YIPPEE!!! then will go back to his place and have hot, sweaty, nasty, gymnast like sex. Hey, that beats headphones anyday, sorry, I dont care how good they are. Than again, an orgasm lasts for how long and headphones for???? hmmmmmm…..
    Life is short, do what makes you happy.
    and I love that line, people are poor, cause they want to be.
    Was good for a laugh.
    God knows being poor is sooooooooooooooo much fun.

  13. jenn

    Jonathan clearly has no idea what it’s like to be poor or he wouldn’t have that shitty attitude. He also clearly has no understanding of love, the cunt. I think G buying you those headphones was incredibly romantic. You’re a lucky girl.

    Imagine if he said ‘Happy Birthday, dear. Here’s your present: a fucking certificate of investment in an arms company. Won’t that be a great surprise for Ry when he graduates?’

    Knee to the groin.

  14. Tiffany

    And that is EXACTLY why I married Morgan. For once, I actually mean every word when I say, “Back off, ladies. He’s ALL mine.” :)

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