don’t leave a message after the beep.

a text substitutes for a phone call, in my book. if it’s your bday or arbor day or even your blogiversary (shudder) and I text you, that is as good as me calling you up with the same well wishes. And vice versa…

So let it be known that phone calls are NOT required on friday to wish me a happy 30th. Text me, message me, email me, facebook status me, iphonelyze me, skype me, comment me, whatever stings your ray. Just don’t call me alright?

and listen. if you do call me and I don’t answer, do me a favor and don’t leave a message. cause then I gotta call up the voice mail and type in my password and hit a bunch of keys to get through the menu to hear the message, a thrilling message that says “hey it’s me, call me back!” and well just, UGH. that’s a lot of work. checking my voice mail is a pain in the neck. it was annoying even before my phone went swimming with the feces, but it’s worse now, since not all the keys work. Plus, I can see that you called. I see it right here on my missed calls report. so I know you called. I know. I don’t need a message telling me you called. I see it right here on the phone. okay? that is your message. okay, g’s mother? OKAY?? stop leaving me voice mails. or I will kill you.

let this be a lesson to you folks: don’t drop your phone in the toilet or you will go to jail for committing murder. and don’t leave me voice mails or you will be murdered.

4 thoughts on “don’t leave a message after the beep.

  1. celly belly

    I alway prefer to text, over voicemail. You know the term “drunk dialing”? well, I used to “drunk text” thankfully I dont drink anymore. Your b-day is Fri, huh? how come you keep having friggin b-days every year? are you really just that selfish? I mean, every 3 or 4 years should satisfy you. But nooooooooooooooo, you expect to be wished a happy b-day every damn year. Sheesh! and didnt you already turn 30? I mean, i’m turning 36 in a couple weeks and I didnt think I was THAT much older than you. So, what the ?!?!

    The Dark Knight will inevitably become a cult classic now, hence, Heath Ledger’s untimely death, the way Brandon Lee’s, made ‘The Crow’ one. I am going to see a midnight showing of it tomorrow night. This is the first time i’ve actually ever looked forward to seeing a Batman movie. There’s so much buzz surrounding it, i’ve gotten sucked in.

    Hey, dont be hatin, Christa. You still have time to experience your movie like kiss. Heck, it took me 35 years before I experienced mine. So dont lose hope…

    I’m sending you a lifetime supply of M&M’s.

  2. gina

    Dude. I always leave a message. Guess what? In court tomorrow, I might get to say, “did you repeatedly say, ‘F-You’ to Ranger Wiggins?” I’m so cool. YOu might be having a birthday, but I’m saying the F=word in a courtroom. Happy Birthday now in case I forget.

  3. christa Post author

    yes gina, I know you always leave a message. this post could also have been titled: “for gina”. by the way you didn’t call me last night.

    I don’t know what I like better, that you get to say fuck in a court of law and the court reporter/stenographer has to type it up all official like, or that there’s a park ranger named Wiggins, which makes me think of chief wiggins, and it’s just very funny to me.

    and celeste, for all intents and purposes, I am turning 30.

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