periods, babies, and head colds

my boss was due to have her baby in another three weeks or so, but the darn thing decided to come early and right in the middle of production. we weren’t prepared for this at all!

So now she’s out for the next several weeks and I have to take care of everything, EVERYTHING, and sure I can handle it (no no i can’t), but christ in a bucket, it’s a lot of work. I am careening my way through it all and praying like hell I make it without ruining an entire magazine and destroying the lives of millions. Because it’s all in my hands now people. I am god in the world of sailing. kind of cool actually. the power I wield is immense. and deadly. and sexy.

ehh, okay, not so much. but sailors of the world–you better watch it! Or you’ll be sorry. Oh yes.

All this loveliness happened yesterday, the first day of my frigging period, plus I woke up with an obnoxious and exhausting head cold. Coming home on the train last night, I murdered seven people and broke fifteen bones and threw up twice.

can i cry? please? there is so much paperwork and magazines and post-its and just so much shit surrounding me right now, it’s 6pm, I’m still at work and I burnt the hell out of my popcorn, making the whole office stink and everyone annoyed with me. then they all left and now I sit here, in the dark, blowing snot, my head throbbing, and wishing you were dead.

I have one thing to be grateful for: I am not pushing any babies out of my vagina.

4 thoughts on “periods, babies, and head colds

  1. Jonathan

    OMG! Still @ work, at 6:00 PM!!?!?! What kind of a cruel God would allow such a thing to happen!?!??? YOU DESERVE A PURPLE HEART OR PERHAPS THE CONGRESSIONAL MEDAL OF HONOR.

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