It annoys me that I’m not good with both my hands. I do everything better with my right hand. I’m all Parkinson’s disease in my left hand. It’s wrong to feel uncomfortable doing something with my left hand. It’s my own freaking hand and I feel weird using it. Not only do I feel weird, I’m not good at it, I’m not good at using my own body part. And then it drags me down that my right hand isn’t better, that my right hand is not kicking ass all over the place and doing everything awesomely. All I use is my right hand, and I should be like Super Right Hand Girl Who Rocks The Joints Using Her Right Hand. Something like that anyway. But it’s not. No, my right hand is junk.
For instance, at my last dentist appointment, I was told that the left side of my mouth isn’t as healthy as my right, due most likely to the way I brush my teeth, since I’m right-handed. And I think FUCK, my right hand can’t brush my teeth? Lousy lazy no good right hand. All you gotta do is hold a brush and you can’t even do that. You’re gonna be all left-side crazy teeth lady because your right hand is a big fat loser.
So I’m pissed that I have a gnarly club for a left hand and that my right hand sucks and won’t pick up the slack.
These hands… These hands are ruining my life.
- a pattern to my madness
- sail away