Did you know there are people who flush the toilet without putting down the lid first?
They let the spray from the flush land on everything in their bathrooms, including their toothbrushes.
It’s the grossest thing in the world.
Did you know that when you flush, it can spray toilet water (and therefore urine and feces) up to 25 feet or something crazy like that? Go ahead and look it up if you doubt me. But it’s true and all of you non-lid closing people make me sick. You should be ashamed.
I am totally addicted to this stupid computer game called Zuma. Whenever I feel stressed or anxious, I sit down and start clicking away. I’ve been playing it a lot lately. A super lot. I don’t know if it really helps or not, but I can’t stop from doing it. I’m such a jerk.
No, really though, I am. A jerk and a bitch. If only you knew.
But it’s okay to not like your in-laws, right? It isn’t a requirement. You don’t have to like them or respect them even, just because they are related to your significant other (and your son, if you want to get depressingly technical about it)? You can find them distasteful and trashy and ridiculous, can’t you?
Of course you can. But not without being saddled as a bitch. Which is okay. Because I am. I truly am a bitch, a mean spiteful uncaring bitch. I’m okay with it.
Far be it from me to judge someone else’s parenting skills, but when you’re staying at someone’s home you should not let your five-year-old run around naked and sleep without underwear. It’s just icky. It’s more than icky. it’s wrong. In your own home, let her do whatever she wants, but anywhere else and use the frigging underwear. Please. I beg you.
And also, if you’re staying at someone’s house, you don’t dictate to them what you will be watching on their TV, with the satellite service they pay for, especially when it’s the first night of hockey playoffs, and ESPECIALLY when it’s ghost whisperer. You aren’t going to cause everyone else to miss the playoffs to watch that mothereffing show, that’s a goddamned guarantee.
So yeah, just a few tips for any of you finding yourself at someone else’s house for whatever reason.
- not quite a baby not yet a boy
- it’s the most wonderful time of the year