Up until three weeks ago or so, I had never heard the song Hey Ya! by OutKast. I’d read about it but never actually HEARD it. And then I saw OutKast performing it on SNL, and now I can’t escape it. I am inundated with it. I hear it on commercials and movie previews, the radio, people’s stereos, in the gym, at the store; that song is ubiquitous, as if it were streaming from the sky itself. I don’t even know if I like it. I just know that I have to hate it because the entire world loves it and insists on making a permanent part of the soundtrack to my inner world. And that I do not appreciate.
Oh and get this! I woke up the other morning to the most annoying commercial jingle ever created, not on the TV or the radio, but in my HEAD. My head! We all know how Coors beer commercials elevate the words obnoxious and grating to higher and grander levels than previously imagined. Well, lucky me awoke to the “Mighty Wingman” song on repeat; all day long, it played incessantly in my brain. There’s no reason for this. I wasn’t watching TV or thinking about the rockingest and rollingest beer on the market, going to parties and singing with the crowd and dreaming about twins. I was merely waking up from a well-deserved night of rest, in which I dreamt about bunnies and robots most likely.
You may think this makes the advertisement successful, and I suppose in some queer and twisted way it does, but I find it appalling and disgusting and don’t think I won’t shove sticks and pencils and forks into my own eyes and ears to make it end! BECAUSE I WILL, COORS. You will not win this battle, even if it kills me. And you can rest assured that I will never, in my entire lifetime, buy Coors beer, never ever ever.
- My new favorite bra.
- The Pain of Hygiene.