Christmas is Over.

It is January 19th everyone. You know what this means. It is time.

Time to take down your decorations, your massive blow-up snowman and your icicle lights and your ridiculously garish nativity scenes, so lovingly displayed right next to your prized Mickey and Minnie Mouse set and jeez aren&#146t they so cute dressed as Santa and Mrs. Claus. Get rid of the tree, clean up the tinsel and shelve the Christmas music. Please. I am tired of driving by your stupid house and seeing your stupid holiday cheer, so put it away already. It is mid-January and now is the time to be miserable and gray and cold; festive warmth is not wanted!

On a completely unrelated topic, the headphones that came with my iPod are quite nice, I have to say. I really like them, the sound is very good. The only problem is that they were built for a Giant Human with Giant Ears. Therefore, for someone like me, not a giant, the headphones are very uncomfortable to wear for any extended period of time. When I jog or exercise wearing them, they constantly fall out. Because they are too large to fit into my ear properly, even without the little black cushions! I cannot begin to tell you how annoying it is. They sound great but because I do not have Giant Ears I am unable to enjoy my iPod headphones.

And don&#146t even get me started on socks. Not everyone has ginormous* feet, sock makers! Some of us need socks bigger than a child&#146s but smaller than a frigging potato sack!

*gi-nor-mous(jie nôr’muhs) adj.
1. a combination of gigantic and enormous.
2. a word only in Christa&#146s world.

9 thoughts on “Christmas is Over.

  1. Schmatrick

    Please go to and sign my petition to make legal the act of vandalizing outside Christmas decorations after Jan. 1. The Chamber of Commerce could do a PSA on television with recommendations for how to desecrate your neighbor’s manager scene for maximum sacriledge. (“First, place the black wise man where Joseph should be…”) We could all whip out our BB guns and pick off those fucking icicle lights one by one. Who in their stucco-covered fucking minds think those things look like icicles??? You FUCKERS! It’s not festive, it’s a broken astronomy display! Come outside and look at what I’ve done to your precious “Santa’s Workshop.” That’s right, I went there, I gutted Rudolph and positioned Santa so he’s eating the meat from his fresh kill. You leave this kind of blank canvas for me to work with, you get what shit I frickin’ dish out. Try this again next year and I’ll ho-ho-horsewhip ya.

  2. Monkeyspit

    Wow. What can I say. Ginormous. I am amazed. I am pretty sure that is true Bostonian speak.

    Note: On the ipod headphones…I have balled my headphones up and put them away never to be used. The foam padding kept slipping off everytime I would remove them from my ears. It really annoyed the hell out of me. Especially when I would end up pulling the foam from my ears three hours after removing the damn headphones. It was embarrassing.

  3. Neely

    I think you need to do what you do best Christa sista, and complain to someone from wherever the iPod is created. I wanna say apple, but i could be so wrong. But explain to them how much you love them, but they suck ass when it comes to staying put where they belong. Perhaps they can compensate you. No no no…DEMAND they do!!

    And I noticed the big word I’m not even going to attempt to pronounce, although good job with putting all that in, but I digress. You stopped doing quotes, you stopped doing a list, perhaps you could start to do a “word a post vocabulary”. Just a thought…

    PS. I’m not in a sober state. I hope I made sense..

  4. Schmatrick

    Don’t stop the “word a post”! You are a valuable resource. I pepper my antagonistic letters to the Feds with words culled from Loafe, so that they’ll think I’m you and not me. Come on, you KNOW you love that plan.

  5. Mark Allen

    I had the same experience, got my gruntle dissed and went to Best Buy , bought these–

    Going by the specs, cause thats what I do, they perform at least as well as the ipod buds, but actually fit in a human ear.

    BTW, to let you know, I often lurke around your site, really enjoy what you write, and wish the way you think was ubiquitous. Thanks

  6. Morgan Montgomery Schlaline

    WOW I have the same problems with my iPod headphones! I need to buy a pair of collapsable Sony phones or something. ANYTHING! I tried going to the link supplied by Mr. Allen. However, the link was busted. Ah well. Any good suggestions? I’d like to use the iPod’s remote but then I have about 40 feet of wire hanging all over me. I just need some headphones with like 8-12 inches of wire. That’s all. Whew!

  7. Michelle

    HAHA. I was about to post the same thing about the IPod remote control. Too much wire. I could wrap it around my body like 12 times and still have 10 feet of cord. Speaking of which, does anyone know where the IPod’s mp3 directory is hidden? I hate using ITunes to transfer everything over.

  8. Mark

    Sorry about the broken link, search on these

    Koss Lightweight Ear-Bud Headphones

    Model: The Plug
    Ear-bud design directs sound into ear canal for deep bass and extended frequency response
    Special ear cushion material conforms to the ear canal to provide a custom fit and maximum isolation
    Dynamic element for extended frequency response
    Includes replacement ear cushions
    4′ dual-entry cord with L-shaped plug
    Frequency response: 10Hz – 20kHz
    Sensitivity: 112dB
    Impedance: 16 ohms

    Hope it helps

  9. Morgan Montgomery Schlaline

    Thanks for the tip, Mark. As for the cord length… I think I’m going to get a 25ft extension added to it to highlight how much cord I have. I think I can start some sort of new fashion/status symbol. “Oh yeah? My iPod’s got 50 feet of headphone cord!!” or “Wow, look at how much headphone cord THAT guy has! He must be really important!”