You’re Fucking Kidding Me.

The latest person to definitely NOT be invited to join my New World Order:
FIFA president Sepp Blatter. He just made the incredibly boneheaded suggestion that women soccer players should wear sexier, more feminine uniforms. &#147Tighter shorts for example,&#148 he says. Because apparently, the important thing in women&#146s sports are not their athletic ability, but how they LOOK.

Not only is this dirty old man not invited, but he&#146s first on the list to be castrated when the time comes. What a chump.

Hey, I know! Let&#146s drop the idea of uniforms altogether and just make them play naked. They are women after all, so who really cares about their talent. All we want are tits, ass and pussy! Come on Sepp! And forget that whole running around and playing sports thing, too. That&#146s for men. Let&#146s just walk them around on the field. Maybe get &#146em to make out with each other. Because who wants to watch a bunch of GIRLS play sports unless they are nude, right Sepp?

hmpf. Stupid bastard. Now I am all fired up.

9 thoughts on “You’re Fucking Kidding Me.

  1. Stephanie

    Odd that I was just reading about this on Yahoo. It’s like the blue car syndrome. If you buy a new car and it’s blue, then all of a sudden you notice blue cars everywhere.

    Also, thanks for keeping me entertained at work.

  2. some MT user

    Hey, this has nothing to do with this post.

    But the other day I came to loafe and found no entry to greet me — just your side index.

    You may want it to be this way, and if you do then please stop reading now.

    Ok, so you don’t want the body of your blog to be entry-less if you aren’t able to post for a week or two. To get around the default MT date-driven entry posting, may I suggest:

    (MTEntries lastn=”5″)

    (You’ll have to change my parens to tag brackets — MT is stripping them out of my post.)

    This will make sure that your last 5 entries always appear on the main index. Of course, if 4 floats your boat you can do that too. Anything other than 0 would be fine with me.

  3. some observer

    I wouldn’t blame Blatter. Or at least, I would put him lower down on the blame totem pole. In my opinion, the people who are really to blame for instances such as this are the people that enable this condition in the first place: the fans who are titillated by revealing uniforms, and the athletes who have used revealing clothing to further themselves in the past (e.g. Anna Kournikova). If it weren’t for the consuming audience and the past conduct of athletes, I doubt he would have ever suggested the idea.

    What I’m proposing is that rather than viewing him as a lecherous old man, perhaps he’s really just a dirty old capitalist. Not that one is necessarily better than the other.

    In short: maybe we don’t blame him. Maybe this situation is more akin to the recent boy-band craze. Yeah, we could sit around and blame the Backstreet Boys and N’SYNC, the record companies, the consolidation of radio station ownership — we could. But in my mind, the real blame lies with the fucking dolts who give their money to these bozos. I blame the American public. They suck, and they get what they deserve.

  4. christa

    Your are right, Some Observer! It is the fucking dolts who give money to those bozos.

    I mean, I WILL blame Blatter because he’s clearly a moron but I will ALSO blame the American public. Only the American public isn’t that hot on soccer. Ah ha! Because the girls aren’t wearing sexy enough uniforms! That’s why! It makes perfect sense.

    It just goes to show, everything comes back to blaming the American public. I love it!

    also, thanks to Some MT User for the MT tip. I saw that blank index page myself but didn’t bother to delve into the cause. Because I am very lazy. But now I know how to fix it, so thank you! Not only are you a Futurama fan but an MT helper-outter. I definitely invite you to my New World Order.

    And Stephanie you are ALWAYS welcome. Thank you for entertaining me at work, although I doubt that my work would thank you. But who cares about my stupid work, I certainly don’t.

    Maybe it isn’t too cool to be posting comments on my own site. And I am sure it isn’t cool to be posting very long comments on my site. Oh well.

  5. Jonathan

    I’m not hot on soccer at all, and I’ve no problem with female athletes, however I can say I would be infinitely more likely to pay to watch a number of attractive naked women walk around a soccer field making out with each other, coupling & uncoupling at random, then I would be to watch them play soccer in any uniform whatsoever. In fact, please keep me posted should you take this brilliant “women making out with each other” concept to fruition. You’ve got a good head for business.

  6. Monkeyspit

    I strongly believe that all sports regradless of gender should be played in the nude. Naked Superbowl. Naked soccer. Naked volleyball. Naked World Series (he he four balls and you automatically get first!) We will all get bored of it soon and nudity will become the norm. Then we can get back into the sport of it. Right-o! Right on!

  7. Morgan

    How about an all drunk All-Star baseball game? Get all the best baseball guys together. Then force them to get super drunk, and make them play a full length game. It’s more likely that I’ll watch that over the normal ‘old fashioned traditional’ All Star game. Maybe they could have the naked female soccer walkers during the 7th inning stretch. I don’t have all the answers. I do like that show on MTV with the kid named BAM and he’s always screwing up his parents house. That’s always entertaining.

  8. DG

    “New World Order” and “The Time Comes”
    I have been waiting quite a while for those words.
    Time to oil the machinery and to call out the troops.
    All I really want in life before it ends is to be dragged from my warm bed by armed CJM troops,
    to be forced into a cold warehouse at gun point
    and forced to vote for the one name on a fixed ballot: Christa J. Madrid.
    Sepp Blatter. The name sounds like a bacterial
    infection of the urinary tract. He is a perfect example of an individual that was placed into a position by unamed hidden “handlers”. He is obviously to stupid to achieve success on his own. I am sure that his error will eventually lead to his gradual demise and ouster. But that will probably happen after the limelite dims.
    By the way I have never asked; what does the J mean in CJM?

  9. Schmatrick

    Ass tits and pussy? Do we have to sign up, or just arrive someplace at a certain time? OH, I just reread the article and see that I misunderstood. I’ll tell you who you should blame — not that Bladder guy, but the blond chick who ripped her shirt off at the end of the 2002 Whatever Cup. Not only did she set the women’s movement back 20 years by celebrating her magnificent physical achievement with the mundane, uninspired act of stripping off her clothes (couldn’t she just have said “it’s Miller time!”), not only did she encourage men everywhere to think of female athletes as the sex symbols men already think they are, but worst of all, she STOPPED taking off her clothes once the t-shirt was gone. Where’s her commitment? Come on, Whatever-Your-Name-Was, you’ve got a nice set! Let’s see ’em! If you’re going to make a statement, end it with punctuation. Not a period, or a colon. Gross.